Email:
While the email was brief and to the point, it certainly
didn’t provide any information that would make someone want to read more and go
that step further of finding out what it was about. There was no target
audience and just because he calls it newsworthy does not back up that the
story is in fact newsworthy. The email overall should have just provided more
information so we could be aware of what this was about and what meaning the
image held. Without explaining it, unless someone did decide to take the time
of day to read it, which seems pretty unlikely given how many of these are
pushed through each day, no one would even begin to understand what this is
about.
News Release:
This news release looks exceptionally professional with the
header, particularly at first glance. With that being said it would be used to
not only draw people in but also for people to actually go to the location. On
the downside there was so much information given I started to not only lose
interest but initially not really follow what the point of this was. It went on
and on without much mention of the exhibit until the end which was essentially
the entire point of this release so it should have been considered a more
important part of this. Overall, the news release was onto something but it got
lost because it was poorly written.
Hi Elissa,
ReplyDeleteNice job! I found many of the same mistakes! I agree, it could have been a very newsworthy story. Yet, the writer dropped the ball. More than likely, the email would have gotten deleted before even being opened.
Hi Elissa,
ReplyDeleteGreat job! I like how you explained each one and what the issue was. There was so many that I couldn't believe something like this was actually sent out! Great job!
Hi Elissa,
ReplyDeleteI agree! I thought the email got right to the point, but was pretty unprofessional. I also thought the news release was long-winded and could have been cut down.